Very Transparent Yearning

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God, am I not hungry enough
Or what
I
Thought I was
Like an emptied cup
Forced dry to be most deeply refreshed
But
I must
Now stand and confess
I have wandered willingly
I tried to gain but just spilled all these
Precious gifts
I hope for Your “peace be still” but these
Shifts, these
Storms come daily
Even while I’m praying
And my sins are not far cast away
So I cry out for new life
A bridge from here to there
A lasting calm, not merely a respite
But a reprieve
I want the ghosts to leave
Down here I grieve
Lord don’t just tell me I’m received and accepted
Show me I’m not neglected
Pull me in close, Lord
Pull me to your chest, yes
To your heart
Throw me over your shoulder
Give me a new start
It’s getting colder
Be my warmth
I’m growing older
Tell me about yourself until I depart
I am so tired of defeating myself
Walking as a fool in a barren land
Chasing mirages until I can not stand
Rejecting your plan
Then waking to do it all again
I cry out for mercy
If you terry because I’m not thirsty
Make me thirsty
Because the thirsty you will fill
I am not well and I must ask
Will you heal or kill
Will you enrich or waste
Have you grown tired of me
Will I ever get to taste
Your unhindered presence
I beg of you, replace my darkness
With Your essence